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This memorial is sponsored by:

Joan Pina

Memorial created 01-7-2008 by
Joan Pina
Becky Vidmosko
June 20 1985 - July 5 2003

I miss your laughter,
fun and gentleness.
I miss the things
I used to do for you.
I miss the time,
now filled with emptiness,
When each day
was a stage for something new.
I miss your love,
though mine for you remains,
A passion with no outlet to the sea,
A teardrop in a desert,
that contains
What`s left of my maternal ecstasy.
I miss your presence,
like a silent chord
That anchored even solitude in grace.
I miss, for my love`s labor,
the reward Of seeing some small
pleasure in your face.
All these I miss,
and yet they are all here
Within my heart,
far more than I can bear!




The Cord

We are connected, My child and I,

 By an invisible cord not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord that connects us 'til birth

This cord can't been seen by any on Earth.

This cord does it's work right from the start.

It binds us together attached to my heart.

I know that it's there though no one can see

The invisible cord from my child to me.

The strength of this cord Is hard to describe.

It can't be destroyed It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord man could create

It withstands the test, can hold any weight.

And though you are gone, though you're not here with me,

The cord is still there but no one can see.

It pulls at my heart, I am bruised...I am sore,

But this cord is my lifeline as never before.

I am thankful that God connects us this way

A mother and child- death can't take it away!

~ author unknown ~




Listen Gentle People

Hear My Truest needs

I hear you stumbling for words....... relax
There are no words.......
I hear you remembering a funny story
about my loved one and looking embarrassed because you are laughing.
Share it with me ~ ~  Let me laugh.
It gives me something to hold onto
in the middle of the night
when I feel only pain...
Be your happy self and let me be me.
On days when I can speak of my loved one,
I need you to share my memories......
You don't have to give me answers,
for  I will learn to live without them.
You don't have to pretend my loved
one never existed, thinking I will
forget if you do.
Let me speak her  name and
You speak it too.
She is always there, that one I love so
deeply,    always part of who  I am.
If you take that from me I will be
less then who I am.

Author unkown


"I will always be the mother of this child. Her death did not end that relationship. Her absence from this world does not separate our spirits nor break the ties of our love.

And if there is a wound in my heart that is cold and scarred and will not heal,it is not a wound that disables me. For every time I feel that scarred area of my heart, I remember that only the fire of an intensely burning love could have made such a mark on me, and the fire of that love is more powerful than the scar that it left."



We never know our fate in life
From the moment of our birth
We know not the roads we'll travel
While walking upon this earth


The tears we'll cry, the pain we'll bear
Is kept unknown to us
We wake each day to face the world
Living in faith and trust


Our shattered dreams, our adversities,
Things beyond our own control
Can wear us down from day to day
The worries can take their toll


If we were given just one chance
To see what our future holds
Would it weaken us beyond belief
Or make us strong  and bold?


But which among us could deny
If we knew what lies in store
That we would be willing to accept
And to ask for one day more




The Ache We Hold Inside

When these children we loved are taken,
And the years pass slowly by,
You feel the grieving is over.
But the ache is still inside.
This life of ours must continue
And the tears we must learn to hide,
But you know it will never leave you,
This ache we feel inside.
Their siblings go on with their future,
And you know this is how it should be.
You share in their joys and sorrows,
But that ache won't let you free,
Where they rest, you visit less often,
And their voices are not as clear,
And our zest for life is returning,
But the ache is always near,
Our friends and families tell us,
How well we handled our grief,
If they only knew deep within us,
From this ache there is no relief,
When alone we talk to them often,
For we know they are still by our side,
And the warmth of our memories comfort,
But the ache will always abide,
As we continue this earthly voyage,
And the calm and the storms pass by,
We will cherish our precious memories,
And this ache we hold inside.

TCF Cincinnati Chapter Newsletter
Feb. 1993, Author Unknown




Please don`t ask me if i am over it. I will never be over it!

Please don`t tell me she is in a better place. She isn`t here with me!

Please don`t tell me she isn`t suffering. I haven`t come to terms with why she had to suffer at all.

Please don`t ask me if I feel better. For bereavement isn`t a condition that clears up.

Please don`t tell me, at least you had her for so many years. What year would you choose for your child to die?

Please don`t ever tell me that God doesn`t give us more than we can handle.

Please, just say you are sorry.

Please, just say that you remember my child.

Please, just talk to me about my child.

Please, just mention my childs name.

Please, just let me cry.








Vicki Tushingham

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24
hours and not expect to get over my child's death, but
instead learn to live with it just one day at a

Just for today I will remember my child's life, not
her death, and bask in the comfort of all those
treasured days and moments we shared.

Just for today I will forgive all the family and
friends who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed
them to. They truly did not know how.

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt
on the inside, for maybe if I smile a little, my heart
will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative
or friend of my child, for they are hurting too, and
perhaps we can comfort each other.

Just for today I will free myself from my
self-inflicted burden of guilt, for deep in my heart I
know if there was anything in this world I could have
to save my child from death, I would have done it.

Just for today I will honor my child's memory by doing
something with another child because I know that would
have made my own child proud.

Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship to
another bereaved parent, for I do know how they feel.

Just for today when my heart feels like breaking, I
will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay
for loving and the only reason I hurt is
because I had the privilege of loving so much.

Just for today I will not compare myself with others.
I am fortunate to be who I am and to have had my child
I had for as long as I did.

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy, for I
know that I am not deserting her by living on.

Just for today I will accept that I did not die when
my child did, my life did go on, and I am the only one
who can make that life worthwhile once more.


Dear Daughter,

I've loved you from the very start.
You're all I hoped a daughter would be,
and I hope that my love for you,
is clear for you to see.

I try so hard to say the things
that I know you need to hear,
and not a day goes by
when I don't wish that you were here.

And I'm just sending you this message
because I want you to know,
that you're the bright star in my life;
you've set my whole world aglow.




Someone You Love …

A journey through the heart of grief

By Susan Squellati Florence

When someone you love dies, A part of yourself dies, too. For as much as the one you loved Did not belong to you, Your heart belonged to them. You were part of each other. There is a physical hurt within you. It is as real as the emptiness That surrounds you.

You will wonder how you will walk In a world that no longer holds the footprints of your loved one. You will wonder how the world Can go on when your world has stopped. You will speak silently In the language of tears As your heart seeks to understand What it cannot.

Spiritual thoughts, Religious beliefs, And philosophy May not take away the hurt. But the power of love Will comfort you. Love will comfort you. Love will be found in the hearts of those who surround you and care about you. People who have been in the place of sadness where you are now will be there for you. The sun will continue to rise, And the moon and the stars Will still light the heavens. You will begin the sacred daily ritual Of remembering… Your grief will become your companion, The part of you that is compassionate, And strong, and deep. In your suffering you will be given The greatest challenges you will ever have… To be able to accept what life gives, And what life takes away. And to be able to accept the mysteries That are part of life. Peace will come to your days… Peace will come. Peace may come with the early morning Sunlight streaming in your window, Or peace may come with The song of one bird. With time the veil of sorrow will lift. Peace will come to your heart, And you will know this love we share Is an eternal gift. You will see what is most precious And most sacred is the love we share. This love lives forever.


My Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

*Author Unknown*



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